Men’s Mental Health: Finding the Right Tools for the Job
"We live in a culture that teaches men to fix things, but not to feel them."
By Simon Heath
For many men, the idea of sitting down to "talk about feelings" conjures up an image of awkward silences, forced introspection, and a deep sense that something about the whole process is just...not quite right. It’s not that emotions don’t exist, it’s that many men are wired to do rather than dwell, to solve rather than sit with discomfort. The traditional counselling room, with its chairs facing one another and the expectation of deep verbal processing, can sometimes feel like an ill-fitting tool for the job.
And yet, men struggle. They struggle with depression, anxiety, stress, addiction, and isolation. Some, too many, struggle in silence, feeling that their pain is theirs alone to bear. I know this struggle intimately. I have been visited by the black dog of depression, a beast that sapped all movement, all energy, all purpose. I have numbed myself with alcohol, sought escape in ways that only deepened the void, and found myself believing there was no one to talk to.
But there are ways through. And they often begin not with words, but with action.
Moving Through It
For me, walking became therapy. There is something about the rhythm of movement that loosens the knots in my mind. The act of putting one foot in front of the other, of feeling the ground beneath you and the air against your skin, is a quiet act of defiance against inertia. It shifts the body and, in doing so, shifts the thoughts.
This is why walking therapy is a growing approach in counselling and works so well for men who struggle with traditional talking therapy. It removes the pressure of direct eye contact, replaces the intensity of a static room with the freedom of open space, and allows words to emerge naturally rather than being forced into the shape of a formal "session."
But movement isn’t the only key. There are other ways to engage the mind and emotions that don’t rely on traditional verbal processing.
Using Objects and Metaphors
Men often connect with the world through things or through tasks, challenges and objects with tangible meaning. Bringing physical elements into therapy can transform the experience from abstract discussion into something concrete.
Take chess as an example. A chessboard is a battlefield, a strategic map of decision-making, power, and sacrifice. Each piece can become a metaphor: the knight who leaps unpredictably, the pawn striving forward with persistence, the queen who holds immense power. When a client struggles to express emotions in words, the pieces can become symbols that tell a story for them. "Which piece feels like you right now?" "What’s blocking your next move?" These questions open doors that might otherwise remain locked.
Or consider playing cards, where a simple deck can become a tool for self-exploration. Drawing a random card and reflecting on its meaning: "What does this Queen of Hearts say about my relationships?"allows insight to emerge organically, without the pressure of direct emotional interrogation.
Technology as a Therapeutic Tool
And then there are the gadgets; the tools many men already use in their daily lives. A camera, a smartphone, a journal app.
Photography can be a powerful form of self-expression. A man who struggles to talk about his emotions might find it easier to show them instead. A series of images of shadowed alleyways, bright open landscapes, objects of significance, these can all tell a story that words fail to capture. The simple act of taking a self-portrait from an unusual angle can reveal something new about self-perception.
Even voice notes; recording thoughts instead of writing them, can be a game-changer. For men who struggle with structured journaling, simply speaking into a phone while on a walk can provide an outlet, a way to process thoughts without the constraints of a traditional diary.
Expanding the Idea of Therapy
Counselling is not one-size-fits-all. The challenge and the opportunity lies in finding the right way in.
For some, that’s talking in a room. For others, it’s walking on a hillside. For some, it’s holding a chess piece and realising, this is me right now. For others, it’s snapping a photograph and seeing, maybe for the first time, the emotions they couldn’t name.
If we want to reach more men, we need to acknowledge that emotional work doesn’t always start with words. Sometimes, it starts with movement. With metaphor. With something tangible that bridges the gap between mind and body, thought and action.
I have walked this path. I have found my way back to motion, to clarity, to a life not dictated by the ghosts of the past. And I know that for many others, the way forward won’t be found in sitting still, but in doing.
Therapy can be about talking. But it can also be about moving, making, shaping, and seeing. The more we embrace that, the more men we will reach before they slip too far into the silence.
